10 Habits of Happy Couples
World-famous psychiatrist Dr. Mark Goulston is fascinated with the success of happy couples and has done a lot of work on researching their ways to happiness. Dr. Mark Goulston is a world-famous psychiatrist and author of several best-selling books. Besides, he is also an active blogger. And his article “10 Habits of Happy Couples” was read by more than half a million people from all over the world. And while he has his own opinion on the matter that is worth taking a look at, we’ve decided to create our own list on the 10 most important habits of happy couples.
- Show that you value each other
Happy couples never forget about each other, they maintain a certain balance between their partner’s needs and personal desires. They value each other. There is no need for something intricate, be sincere. Leave a note with gratitude to your partner, send a message, remind them of what you think about them. Do what they appreciate. A lot of people often complain that their partners do not appreciate them. Feeling significant and important is a normal human need. Daily expression of gratitude satisfies this need.
- Get a common interest
After the raging fire of the initial passion goes away, giving way to an even flame of love, many couples find that they, in general, do not have much in common. However, don’t underestimate the importance of what you can do (and enjoy) together. And even if you do not have so many common interests, you may well find something that both of you will like. And do not forget about your own interests and hobbies – so you will not only become more interesting for your partner but will also look less dependent on them.
This is also important if you are just at the beginning of your relationship and you are having your awkward first dates, you want to find something that will make you closer, something that will make you more interested in spending time with each other. Finding common interests and hobbies is the way out of this uncomfortable situation.
- If you go somewhere together – hold hands or stay close to each other
When a happy couple goes somewhere, it doesn’t happen that one of the partners goes behind the other or runs ahead – no, they go holding hands, or at least next to each other. They know that the desire to be next to each other is much more important than anything else.
If (more precisely, when) you quarrel or have a disagreement, you know – happy couples are happy because they are ready to trust each other and forgive each other together to battle distrust and anger in themselves.
- Try to think more about what your partner is doing right and less about what they are doing wrong.
If you are looking for only flaws in your partner, believe me – you will find a lot of them. But, in the same way, you can start looking for good things in your partner. It all depends on what exactly you are looking for. Happy couples focus on the positive things about each other.
- Ask for what you need
I constantly hear something like this from my friends, “If they loved me, he would know what I need. I would not have to ask for something. They must know what they did wrong.” A person cannot read minds. They have different experiences and expectations. Your task is to tell about your feelings and needs. Sometimes you have to do this several times. Happy couples do not build relationships on speculation. Instead, partners ask each other what they need and do it, openly discuss differences and respect them.
- Express love in the language that your partner understands
Everyone gives and accepts love in their way. What matters to you, does for your partner too. Most likely, you have different needs, this is normal. There are five languages of love: gifts, time alone, words, help, and physical contact. In happy couples, partners understand how their partner gives and accepts love. It helps maintain warmth, affection, and reciprocity in relationships.
- Every night, wish each other good night – and no matter how sincerely you do it
This tells your partner that no matter how offended or angry you are, your relationship is important to you and you want to continue it. This suggests that what is happening between you is much more important than a single unpleasant incident.
- Be interested in your partner’s life
Remember to ask your partner about the way their day went by. This is a great way to find out in advance what to expect from them when you meet in the evening. For example, if your partner’s day was simply terrible, you can hardly expect sincere joy from them, even if your day was great.
- Rejoice in the fact that you are seen together
Happy couples do not hesitate to show themselves to people together, moreover, they enjoy the fact that they are seen during any emotional contact, whether it is a normal touch on the arm or shoulder or a passionate kiss. And they are not at all trying to shock others with this – they just want to show that they belong to each other, and are happy with it.
The habits of happy couples are very different from the habits of the unfortunate. But what is a habit? This is a certain pattern of behavior that you perform automatically and maintaining which does not require much effort from you. For any behavior to become a habit, it must be repeated for at least 21 days – and if you adopt the models of behavior described in this article, they will certainly make your personal relationships much healthier and happier. And remember – if you fail to do this the first time – do not despair. Just apologize to your partner, ask them for forgiveness, and continue to work on adopting good habits.